Shaking In Fear

I was nervous before and that was just talk,
I'd never expect to see you out on my walk,
But then when I knew you were here I had to,
And give you the note I'd written for you,
But then when I saw you my body just froze,
It felt like a lifetime, not the timing I chose,
My knees start to shake and my heart start to race,
A worried expression stuck on my face,
I'm going all pale and feeling all sick,
I throw down the note and to the floor it sticks,
I run, and I run, away from the pain,
And hope in my heart I don't see you again.

You do, you don't

One day your telling me you love me,
The next day your telling me lies,
I don't know what to believe,
Just wait till my tears have all dried,
You say that you always want me around,
And you need me to stay for your sake,
The next day your telling of new friends you have found,
I'm giving it all and you take,
I don't know what to say to you,
Or how to tell you I'm fine,
All I want is to know what to do,
And for you to say you are mine.

14 lines of hurt

Dates and places and faces and names,
Needles and plasters all feel the same,
Lost track of the days, lost track of time,
Forget when you said you'd be by my side,
I drink and I drink, till there's no more tears,
And I sleep all day to forget all my fears,
The crushing, the hurting don't mean a thing,
As long as your happy the bruises wont sting,
The aching I feel whenever you leave,
I can't find the words, I'm struggling to breathe,
Don't eat, don't sleep, make myself sick,
This fantasy image don't seem to stick,
Memories fading, no names and no places,
Forgotten the dates the people and faces.

Graveyard Blues

These dreadful days where sorrow grows,
I go to a place that nobody knows,
I go there to sit, to talk and to cry,
And sit with the person who helps me get by,
Although she's not here I still feel her presence,
Her kind and her warmth and her friendly essence,
She eases my heartaches and dries all my tears,
I've missed her alot these past long 9 years,
I've needed her guidance and rational advice,
Just a hug right now would feel really nice,
I'm going back soon, I need to feel sane,
And take a long walk down memory lane.

Family Ties

I love my family don't get me wrong,
But sometimes I wish they weren't here,
I will always favour my friends,
They've been here for me for years,
My sisters all lie,
And my brothers are foes,
I can't get away from the stress,
If I could just leave,
Be an orphan it seems,
I can battle away all the mess,
I wish that sometimes they'd listen to me,
To tell them where they're going wrong,
If they'd listen to me,
I'd finally be,
Then I can be free to move on.

Happiness Lasts Forever

If I could wake up every morning,
To your gorgeous smile,
I would wake up everyday,
Knowing it's worth while,

You bring out my very best,
A happiness that's pure,
I know this feeling lasts forever,
Of that I know I'm sure.

Foolishness

When you told me you liked me,
Did you mean it? or did you
just use it? Am I just a game to you?
A fool for falling for you? I don't know any more,
I'm walking out this door, if I'll be back again
......... who knows.

Happy Happy Happy

When i think about your smile,
I can't help but grin,
You make me the happiest,
I have ever been,

You bring out the best in me,
And you always will,
I love that you can make me smile,
For you it's natural skill,

You give me hugs and kisses,
That make me feel ok,
And for that i thankyou now,
And forever and day!

What If??

what if I'd never told you how i felt?
would you still feel the same?
what if I'd never seen your face?
would we still have ended up here?
what if you had felt the same?
would you still have made that choice?
what if I'd never loved you?
would i still have fallen in love?
what if? only time will tell.....

Consequences Unknown

The feel of the blade hitting my skin,
The feel of the blood rushing out,
The feel of the anger subsiding within,
As a sigh of relief is let out,
I do it again, and again and again,
Just to make sure I'm really alive,
And I'd do it again, and again and again,
Just to make all the anger die,
I feel it trickle, down the whole of my arm,
I watch it hitting the floor,
I know that they'll hate me for doing self harm,
But I can't deal with this feeling no more,
It's silently killing me, and scarring my skin,
It's beating me inside and out,
The feeling of anger subsiding within,
As a sigh of relief is let out.

When I'm Yours

When things get bad and miserable,
You're feeling pretty low,
Then take a look, at my face,
And you will surely know,

You have me as your best-est friend,
You have me all day long,
I'm always gonna be here for you,
No matter what goes wrong,

You have me as your shoulder,
If you ever need to cry,
To let out all your anger,
And for help to just get by,

You have me for that cheeky grin,
Just to make you smile,
You have me to make you happy,
If only for a while.

Tears of Sorrow

I've got this aching hunger,
That I just can't control,
It's scarring me and hurting me,
It's burning at my soul,

My tears they don't stop falling,
They fall down like the rain,
They drown me in my anger,
And soak me in my pain,

This feeling inside is killing me,
I'm completely out of control,
I've got this aching hunger,
That's burning at my soul.

Bad Dream

The cars down below,
Stood still in a jam,
Looking up to the sky,
To see who I am,

There's sirens and screams,
As I move to the edge,
Ready to jump,
Off this crumbling ledge,

The wind is cold,
As it hits my pale face,
My tears almost freeze,
Nearly stuck in their place,

I look down again,
More people are there,
Just patiently waiting,
Giving a stare,

I take a deep breath,
Then take a step back,
A sigh of relief,
Then comes a crack,

The ledge is breaking,
I give out a scream,
Then somebody saves me,
An angel it seems,

I open my eyes,
I'm back in my bed,
Haunted by what,
I've just seen in my head,

I take a good look around,
And see you're still there,
I go back to sleep,
With no worries, no cares.

Pressure

Hands on my head,
What have I done?
I should have emptied the bullets,
Out of that gun,

But now it's too late,
She lies on the floor,
I rush in a panic,
As there's a knock at the door,

Nobody answers,
I can't I'm too scared,
I hear lots of footsteps,
Rushing up stairs,

There's police everywhere,
Then there's my mum,
And it's then, only then,
I know what I've done,

I never wanted all this,
I cry out with a plea,
For it's then that I notice,
The young girl..... is me.

Our Love

In love we trust with all our heart,
In love we leave our mind,
With love we tend not to be smart,
And love's not always kind,

But our love is something else,
It's pure and true and wise,
And it's our love that see's us through,
It will never be our demise.

The Day The Laughter Died

It was the day I had a smile,
A happy and a soulful child,
A happy heart filled with glee,
But deep inside that wasn't me,

I was scared, it's judgment day,
Test results go either way,
Something good? No, something bad,
I'm crumbling and feeling sad,

And when that loving person's gone,
It's gonna be me, the only one,
The day me and my body cried,
Was the day the laughter died.

Ghost (for my nan)

You walk through the air with an elegant grace,
But the elegance shows not on your pale face,
Your face it shows nothing, no terror, no feeling,
You have no emotion, but a presence of healing,
A presence of softness as you glide with ease,
Gliding with grace and a feeling of peace.

To Live For Tomorrow

To live for tomorrow,
Through the pain and the sorrow,
To live for the morning,
To see myself yawning,

To know that I'm living,
This love I'll keep giving,
To live for tomorrow,
With you through the sorrow.

One Kiss

One kiss to get,
One kiss to have,
One kiss to last,
One kiss to remember,

One kiss in May,
One kiss in June,
One kiss to last,
Until December,

One kiss to give,
One kiss to take,
One kiss to last,
One kiss to tender,

One kiss to share,
One kiss to move,
One kiss to last,
And then surrender.

I Go To A Place

When the early tide,
meets the shore,
I go to a place,
I've never been before,

When the early sun rises,
And lights up the town,
I go to a place,
Where I smile not frown,

And when the sun sets,
And the evening is nigh,
I go to a place,
With you by my side.

Suicide Love

To me it really doesn't matter
If your arm looks like a ladder
To me your beauty hides within
You're an angel, you cannot sin

I'll love you forever, till the day I die
And seeing you leave will make me cry
I know the pain you're going through
I feel i want to do it to

But then I'd miss your gorgeous smile
And miss the things you make worth while
I've said it before, I'll say it again
I'll love you forever, until the end

One Mother

One mother's love
One mother's charms
One mother's kiss
One mother's arms

One mother's eyes
One mother's smile
A mother that makes
It all worth while

A mother I love
Till the end of time
You're the best mum
And I'm glad that your mine